Losing Confidence

Can I be completely honest with you?  I am disappointed in myself. Better yet, angry with myself. I started blogging back in 2012 and the for the past six years, I’ve consistently shared my thoughts through a blog post on average about once a month. However, I am currently on a reluctant streak. That reluctant streak started May 13 when I last shared a blog post with my readers.  This is the longest stretch that I have gone without writing and posting a blog article and feel like I’ve let down my fellow educators, my profession, and most importantly, myself.I could come up with a list of reasons why I haven’t posted in more than four months. Is it because that is about the same time my speaking calendar went into full swing, leaving me limited time to write? Or perhaps it’s because I was finishing up two more book projects with my business partner Jeff Zoul and I just got a little burned out with writing? Maybe I feel that I don’t have anything fresh or profound to share with my readers and I don’t want to share something that isn’t going to resonate with them or leave them reflecting about their impact as an educator? Or could it be I just lost interest in blogging?Truth? I think I know what it is and I can’t even bring myself to say it because it is a legitimate fear. A fear of going back to a place that I don’t want to go because I know it will stir up old memories that I don’t want to think about or worse yet, relive. But if I don’t confront it I know it could send me into a tailspin and I fear that even more because of the potential for additional and sometimes unforeseen consequences that I may not be able to see. I just need to accept the fact that it’s very possible that this is where I have landed.I’ve lost confidence.It’s been more than three months since I typed the words above. And that is a crappy feeling. I feel stuck. And it scares me. Damn, it, I hate this feeling. Self-doubt can leave you feeling unsettled, even paralyzed. I started writing a blog post in July and yet here it sits. I never finished it.I have stared at my computer screen from my desk at home, from a hotel room, a hotel balcony, poolside, and even while I sat on a plane. And yet nothing comes. I thought about reaching out to members of my PLN for words of encouragement, but then decided not to bother them. I know what they would say. “Jimmy, write like you talk.” That is what @gcouros would say to me. My good friend @jeff_zoul would simply remind me that all writers, even great writers struggle to find the words at times. He would remind to, “Start writing and keep writing and the words will come.” My friend and colleague @E_Sheninger would say, “Write for you and don’t worry what others think. Write for yourself.”So tonight, I am committed to get my words typed up. I am going to follow their advice and finally finish this post. I can do it. I know I can. Just start writing. Write like you talk. Don’t worry about what others will think.I never professed to be a good writer. And maybe, just maybe because I was lucky to land at the right place at the right time, these three gentleman not only encouraged me, but inspired me to be more and do more than I ever thought I could do. And for that I will forever be grateful for their encouragement, guidance, and support.In my book, Culturize: Every Student. Every Day. Whatever It Takes, I share the following thoughts below in order to help others who like me, struggle at times to find the right words to say, who worry about what others will think, who don’t have the confidence or in some cases, had it and then lost it.Remember….

• Start writing and keep writing your thoughts down on paper.
• Once you see your thoughts written down, you will be able to piece them together.
• Get the negative thoughts out of your mind and believe in yourself.
• Don’t be afraid of what others will think; everyone has something to contribute.
• Forget about what it looks and sounds like. Just write.
• It only takes one person to relate to your story. Honor your impact.
• Embrace your vulnerability. Give of yourself and don’t be afraid to share your story.
• Reach out to others whom you trust to “check you” back into perspective.
• It is normal to experience writer’s block. It happens to everyone, even the best writers.
• Write for you. Reflection is powerful and necessary for individual growth.

If it’s been awhile since you last sat down and wrote a post or you’ve been thinking about starting a blog, but hesitated for whatever reason, I hope this post helps you or inspires others out there who are struggling to find the right words or are feeling stuck. Just know that you are not alone.Write like you talk.Start writing.Write for you.Thank you George, Jeff and Eric. I’m ready for October so I can get back on schedule.