LEADERSHIP COACHING: ME OR WE LEADER?

This week’s blog is written by one of our J Casas and Associates leadership coaches - Jessica Cabeen. Jessica currently serves as the principal of Ellis Middle School in Austin MN. She is also the author of four books which you can find here. Be sure to follow Jessica on Twitter and check out her resources on her website.

We have all heard it, and sometimes we have even said it. My school, my staff, my program, my students. When you are on the receiving end of that statement it can rub you the wrong way. As an educator I worked for both WE and ME leaders. We leaders lift you up, encourage you and make you feel like your work is important to the organization. Me leaders take on all the work, all the credit and at times can micromanage any/all decisions in front of them, and you.  

Sometimes as a leader we think in order to lead well not only do we have to do it all, but do it all by ourselves. That inevitably ends up conveying a message of me, mine and I versus-we, ours and all of us. Leading with a me-lens over a we-lens can unintentionally tell others more about your leadership style than you think. 

A subtle shift in pronouns can make a significant shift in culture.

Once you start to think about it, you start to really think about ways you can change how you say things and shift your leadership style. Below are 5 ways to say things with a WE Lens.

We need your help. Parent engagement works well when done authentically and when meaningfully seeking advice and ideas from parents. In our newsletters and listening sessions we include a segment called “we need your help” that identifies to parents that you really are asking for input, ideas and suggestions on specific topics. 

Caution: it is one thing to ask, it is another to act on it. Ensuring that you have a tight feedback loop is essential in building “we leadership”. If parents give you suggestions on dismissal procedures, work to implement portions of it or send a memo back letting them know why it might not work. You might not be able to use all their suggestions, but you can let them know you listened. 

We can find the answer. COVID really made apparent what we already knew, we can’t do it all. Being the one-stop shop for everyone’s questions in this season is going to be exhausting, unsustainable and unrealistic. Being willing to delegate responsibility, while supporting those you delegated to builds up confidence and creates clearer paths for people to get answers. 

At Ellis this fall my partner and I came up with a flow chart for staff. Need help with rearranging your room? See Ryan. Have a question about the instructional model? See Jess. By identifying roles and responsibilities, sharing those within the school, and sticking with them demonstrates a vulnerability of being okay with not knowing everything, and empowering those around you to take leadership of areas you wouldn’t be able to do well with everything else on your plate. 

We will get back to you. I have learned that my immediate responses is sometimes not the right one. At times efficiency pays a price to effectiveness when it comes to responding right away. If a parent, staff or students is asking something I know I don’t 100% know the answer to-it really is okay to let them know you will get back to them with a response instead of reply right away. This also lets them know that you want to gain a response from the right people, and maybe even connect them directly moving forward. 

We are grateful. No one can go wrong with a heartfelt thank you. Sharing, showering and showing others how grateful you are for their work goes a long way in sustaining deep relationships. This was evident at our school this past month. 

In our September newsletter we asked families to fill out a form to nominate a staff member that we could recognize. Within a week we had over 100 responses! From bus drivers to teachers parents showered staff with heartfelt compliments that we printed and put on certificates. The smiles when staff found these in their mailboxes really reinforced how hard they have been working and how grateful we all are for educators in every season, but specifically right now.

We will get through this (insert issue/concern or crisis). Spoiler alert: no one is an island and we all need help. COVID back to school planning was a great example. It could have been to build new schedules, new models of service delivery, or new ways to teach, engage and support student’s learning. Whatever we had to do, we learned we couldn’t do it by ourselves. 

However, by sharing the work you also need to remember to take time to share the recognition of what was accomplished. Next week at our staff meeting we are going to take time to reflect on what we have learned, how we have grown, and how we can work together to continue to move forward in this new season of school. As the African Proverb so beautifully states: “If you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far, go together.” 

Every two weeks, I share out 1 Reflection, 2 Ideas, and 1 Resource for you to consider that I hope will encourage you to explore new and better practices in your daily work. My aspirations are to support you in developing your skills and shifting your thinking so you will invest in your own development and maybe, just maybe, I can inspire you to want to live your excellence so you can bring your best self to school every day!

Thank you Jessica for being an example of what it means to live your excellence…every day. Grateful for your contribution today.

Jimmy

ME OR WE LEADER: 121

1 REFLECTION:

Leaders are not responsible for the results; leaders are responsible for the people who are responsible for the results. - Simon Sinek, The Infinite Game.

2 IDEAS:

As you are leading meetings, having conversations, or talking on the phone think about what you are saying, how you are saying it, and what it says about you as a leader.

Good News Call-Parent Edition. Gratitude can be built outside the school walls to come in as well. We built a form for families to recognize staff and created a certificate to send out to staff when recognized. We have a spreadsheet to keep track of all the gratitude that is being shared with staff.

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Responding to Difficult Emails. A tool we use to help guide our responses to challenging emails comes from The High Conflict Institute. Here is the template we use, as well as an article with examples. 

1 RESOURCE:

Please take care of yourself. While Simon Sinek reminds us that leaders are responsible for the people we serve, make sure you are taking care of yourself so you can take care of others. Need help? Here is a Principal Wellness Checklist and Gratitude template to give you some ideas. 

Interested in having Jessica speak at your school? Anyone of her book topics can be delivered as a Keynote, Presentation or Workshop and can be customized to align with your current school or district school improvement plans. An entirely new presentation can also be created to help you achieve a standard of educational excellence. 

Be sure to also check out our entire list of associate speakers HERE

Contact us today for available dates, pricing and discounts on book orders.